The way I misbehave.

You cannot perform in a manner inconsistent with the way you see yourself.
- Hilary Ziglar

In the affirmative:

You can perform in a manner that is consistent with the way you see yourself.

“The way you see yourself.” - is key here. How do we see ourselves? How accurate is the image or belief of myself with regards to how I perform?

Here's the thing. Literally (and metaphorically) unless I can be outside of myself the best view of myself is my reflection - which EVEN AT BEST will be a somewhat distorted facsimile of the real me.

I know and have come to learn that the image I have of myself changes. I see myself sometimes as able sometimes as not- sometimes invincible, sometimes a victim, sometimes useless, sometimes as a great helper, sometimes as Mr. Fix It,  sometimes the essence of compassion - well you get the idea.

In each and every instance my ‘performance’, the way I am, what I accomplish, is a reflection of how I see myself. How I see myself varies according to my environment in the moment, my current AND previous judgements, the company I keep and the degree to which I take on other people’s ideas. This does not mean I am at the effect of my environment, that I am a victim without choice or power. Simply, ‘how’ I see myself has many influences, some are clear influences I am aware of some are not. Some are unconscious or rather, I am unconscious to them.

What I’ve learned though is that there can be a big difference between how I see myself and how I really am. That how I ‘think’ I am can be a fantasy, a construct divorced from actuality.  This is why a good reflector is important.

Other people's perceptions are - at the very least - an incomplete reflection, a projection of themselves and the context that is prevalent. Other people's perceptions are important though in that they may contain useful information for me that I can use to support myself in moving in the direction I want to go. Invariably, other people's perceptions do influence.

Of-course there's more to us than we "see" in the reflections created outside of ourselves. That we come to know ourselves via the feedback of others, in the relationships we have and the judgements we make is key yet there is more. Something personal, individual, unique. Some thing defining. Some thing that really can only be self defined and expressed. Armed with or grounded with this knowledge there is a basis from which to examine external influences.

The trick here is to surround myself with people who have a high level of self honesty who are courageously compassionate and are willing to tell me their truth. Everyone around me is my coach! I learn something from all my relationships - even if I think I don’t!

The revealing factor is my performance.  Performance rather than results, how rather than what. In a results based society this may be a challenging idea - one to be examined at a future time.

Performance
noun:
- The act of beginning and carrying through to completion.

Synonyms:
discharge, effectuation, prosecution execution, carrying out, carrying into action, action, presentation, demonstration, operation, functioning, process, accomplishment, achievement

The degree to which I 'see' myself is consistent the way I behave.

and the corollary:

The degree to which I do not 'see' myself is consistent with the way I misbehave!