Use reality as a benchmark.

Written by Randy Park

You cannot perform in a manner inconsistent with the way you see yourself.

- Hilary Zigla

This is an interesting quotation. On the one hand, I generally agree with the sentiment. On the other hand, I also think that one way we stretch our abilities, push ourselves out of our comfort zones, is to perform in a manner better than we think we are. So I would tend to re-write it as "You are likely to perform in a manner consistent with the way you see yourself."

Now this could be simply a matter of semantics. Hilary may mean that we first have to see ourselves as bigger than we are in order to improve performance. But I am a strong believer in reality-based thinking.

I think it is important to see ourselves - and our situations - as accurately as possible. You can probably guess from my response that I am not a big believer in "The Secret." My formal training is in Physics, where the overriding goal is always to describe a situation accurately and with as little bias as possible. Of course now that I write and speak about how people think and make decisions, I recognize that it is very difficult for us to see situations without the biases of experience, education, and beliefs. In most cases these biases help our analysis; but if I am not seeing myself accurately, I can't make good decisions about my future.

If we don't use reality as a benchmark, it is difficult to make consistent decisions. Without reality, I may some time see myself as performing better than I really am, and other times as less well than I actually am performing.

Finally I have to say that the mental filters I that talk about as being a key aspect of our thinking are truly a part of us. So in that sense, we see information that is consistent with our views of ourselves.

I believe that accurate self understanding - which can be aided by feedback from trusted friends - is the best starting point for self development.